how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Randomize
