all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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