I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
