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I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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