when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
