She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
