Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
