There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
