Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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