just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
