i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
