you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
