Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
