That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I think your dad took our porno
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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