I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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