left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
