I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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