Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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