my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
