It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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