I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
