guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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