I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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