In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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