Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
