You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize