At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
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