i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
