apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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