no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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