I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
