Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Your cock deserves a montage
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize