Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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