hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
