I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
are you so shy because you have an std?
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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