I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
