It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Two words: nipple clamps
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