My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
