Your mouth is God's brothel.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
