I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Randomize
