I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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