Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
