I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
