i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
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