after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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