Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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