that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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