Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
