Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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