im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
