Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
