He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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