guys are not supposed to queef...right?
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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