Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
