where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
