So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
