only you would photoshop your dick
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Randomize
