its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize